From: Hollywood Squares
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01-14-2007, 04:36 PM,
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From: Hollywood Squares
> If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may
> bring a smile to your face and tears to your eyes from laughing. These > great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" > game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, > as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course. > > Q. Do female frogs croak? > > A. Paul Lynde: "If you hold their little heads under water long enough". > > Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should > you be? > > A. Charley Weaver: "Three days of steady drinking should do it". > > Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. > > A. George Gobel: "Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes". > > Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or > a woman? > > A. Don Knotts: "That's what's been keeping me awake". > > Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you > think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's > married? > > A. Rose Marie: "No; wait until morning". > > Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? > > A. Charley Weaver: "My sense of decency". > > Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"? > > A. Vincent Price: "No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty". > > Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"? > > A. George Gobel: "I don't know, but it's coming from the next > apartment". > > Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your > hands while talking? > > A. Rose Marie: "You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll > give you a gesture you' ll never forget". > > Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? > > A. Paul Lynde: "Because chiffon wrinkles too easily". > > Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to > get any during the first year? > > A. Charley Weaver: Nah, I'm too busy growing strawberries. > > Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? > > A. Rose Marie: "Ralph, the pin boy". > > Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist > camps. One is politics, what is the other? > > A. Paul Lynde: "Tape measures". > > Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? > > A. Rose Marie: "Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom". > > Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? > A. Marty Allen: "Only after lights out". > > Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a > goose do? > > A. Paul Lynde: "Make him bark"? > > Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? > > A. Paul Lynde: "Whatever it is, it won't be afraid of the dark". > > Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into > the habit of kissing a lot of people? > > A. Charley Weaver: "It got me out of the army". > > Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? > > A. Paul Lynde: "Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected". > > Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, > what was he trying to do? > > A. George Gobel: "Get it in his mouth". > > Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your > elephant? > > A. Paul Lynde: "Who told you about my elephant"? > > Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? > > A. Charley Weaver: "I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him". > > Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and > has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? > > A. Charley Weaver: "His feet". > > Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in > bed? > > A. Paul Lynde: "Point and laugh". |
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01-16-2007, 08:50 AM,
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Re: From: Hollywood Squares
thanks for a good laugh. of course now my coworkers now have 1 more piece of evedance that I'm a little unstable :
MNLakeDiver (aka Jim)<br />The water is so cold I can see my breath !
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01-16-2007, 09:11 PM,
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Re: From: Hollywood Squares
I really try not to repeat jokes I read...but Paul Lynde was an absolute HOOT! I kinda miss that show!
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