Lunch with God

[Punky]

>> >> LUNCH WITH GOD
> >> >>
> >> >>
> >> >>A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was
> a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase >with Twinkies and a six-pack of Rootbeer
>and he started his journey.
> >> >>When he had gone about three blocks, he met an
> old man. He was sitting in the park just staring at some >pigeons. The boy sat down next to him and opened
>his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from
> his root beer when he noticed that the old man looked >hungry, so he offered him a Twinkie. He gratefully
>accepted it and smiled at him. His smile was so pleasant >that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered him a >root beer. Again, he smiled at him. The boy was delighted! >They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they >never said a word.
> >> >>As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he
> was and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more >than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old >man, and gave him a hug. He gave him his biggest smile ever.
> >> >>When the boy opened the door to his own house a
> short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy >on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that >made you so happy? "He replied, "I had lunch with God." But
>before his mother could respond, he added, "You know >what? He's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"
> >> >>Meanwhile, the old man, also radiant with joy,
> returned to his home. His son was stunned by the look of >peace on his face and he asked, "Dad , what did you do >today that made you so happy?" He replied, "I ate Twinkies in
> the park with God." However, before his son responded,
> he added, "You know, he's much younger than I expected."

> >> >>Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a >smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or >the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to >turn a life around.
>>> People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a >lifetime. Embrace all equally!
> >> >>
> >> >>
> >> >>Have lunch with God! Thanks for touching my life.

[Punky]

There was a little old lady who would come out every morning on the steps of her front porch, raise her arms to the sky and shout, "Praise the Lord!"

Well, one day an atheist moved into the house next door. Over time, he became irritated at the little old lady. So every morning he would step out onto his front porch and yell after her, "There is no Lord!"

Time passes with the two of them carrying on this way every day. Then one morning in the middle of winter, the little old lady stepped onto her front porch And shouted, "Praise the Lord! Lord, I have no food and I am starving. Please provide for me, oh Lord!"

The next morning, she stepped onto her porch and there were two huge bags of groceries sitting there.
"Praise the Lord!" she cried out. "He has provided groceries for me!"

The atheist jumped out of the hedges and shouted, "There is no Lord. I bought those groceries!"

The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted, "Praise the Lord! He has provided me with groceries and He made the devil pay for them!"

[Punky]

The Golden Telephone

A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east from there.

Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign which read "$10,000 a minute."

Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign.

The Pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way.

As he continued to visit churches in Seattle,Austin,
Greensboro, Chicago, Milwaukee, and all around the United States, he found more phones with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Minnesota. Upon entering a church in Duluth, Minnesota, behold, he saw the usual golden telephone.

But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: 35 cents."

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor. "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute.

Your sign reads 35 cents a call. Why?"

The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Minnesota now.....it's a local call."
--

[Punky]

> >Sally jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon
> >come out of the operating room. She said: "How is my
> >little boy? Is he going to be all right?
> >When can I see him?"
> >
> >The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could,
> >but your boy didn't make it."
> >
> >Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer?
> >Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when
> >my son needed you?"
> >
> >The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone
> >with your son? One
> >of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before
> >he's transported to the university."
> >
> >Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she
> >said good-bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly
> >through his thick red curly hair. "Would you like a
> >lock of his hair?" the nurse asked. Sally nodded
> >yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it
> >in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
> >
> >
> >The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate
> >his body to the university for study. He said it
> >might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but
> >Jimmy said, "Mom, I won't be using it after I die.
> >Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one
> >more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a
> >heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else.
> >Always wanting to help others if he could."
> >
> >
> >Sally walked out of Children's mercy Hospital for
> >the last time, after
> >spending most of the last six months there. She
> >put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat
> >beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult.
> >It was even harder to enter the empty house. She
> >carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with
> >the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started
> >placing the model cars and other personal things,
> >back in his room exactly where he had always kept
> >them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his
> >pillow, cried herself to sleep.
> >
> >It was around midnight when Sally awoke. laying
> >beside her on the bed was a folded letter.
> >
> >The letter said:
> >
> >"Dear Mom,>
> >I know you're going to miss me; but don't think
> >that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you,
> >just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE YOU. I will
> >always love you, Mom, even more with each day.
> >Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if
> >you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so
> >lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room,
> >and old stuff to play with.
> >
> >But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she
> >probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do.
> >You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like,
> >y'know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really
> >is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon
> >as I got here and showed me around some, but it will
> >take a long time to see everything. The angels are
> >so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know
> >what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures.
> >Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus
> >himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I
> >got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was
> >somebody important.
> >
> >
> >That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you
> >a letter, to tell you good-bye and everything. But I
> >already knew that wasn't allowed.
> >Well, y'know what Mom? God handed me some paper
> >and His own personal pen
> >to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the
> >name of the angel who is going to drop this letter
> >off to you God said for me to give you the answer to
> >one of the questions you asked Him.
> >
> >'Where was He when I needed him?' "God said He was
> >in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was
> >on the cross. He was right there, as He always is
> >with all His children.
> >
> >Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've
> >written except you. To everyone else this is just a
> >blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to
> >give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some
> >more names in the Book of Life.
> >
> >Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for
> >supper. I'm, sure the food will be great.
> >
> >Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt
> >anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I
> >couldn't stand that pain anymore. and God couldn't
> >stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He
> >sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel
> >said I was Special Delivery!
> >How about that?
> >
> >
> >Signed with Love from:
> >God, Jesus & Me."
> >
> >Let's see Satan stop this one.

[Punky]

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

[Punky]

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman.

> They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.
> The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."

>He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.
>The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling
ensues.
>After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and
laughing.
>The angel tells them, "Um, you have fifteen minutes left."
> "Would you care to do it again?" he asks her. "Shall we?" She eagerly replies, "Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions.

>"This time, I'll hold the pigeon down, and you crap on its head."
> > >
> > >AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING"???????????????

[Punky]

In my heart


"Tomorrow morning," the surgeon began,
"I'll open up your heart..."

"You'll find Jesus there," the boy interrupted.

The surgeon looked up, annoyed "I'll cut your heart open," he continued, to see how much damage has been done..."

"But when you open up my heart, you'll
find Jesus in there," said the boy.

The surgeon looked to the parents, who sat quietly.

"When I see how much damage has been done, I'll sew your
heart and chest back up, and I'll plan what to do next."

"But you'll find Jesus in my heart. The Bible says He lives
there. The hymns all say He lives there.
You'll find Him in my heart."

The surgeon had had enough. "I'll tell you what I'll find in
your heart. I'll find damaged muscle, low blood supply, and weakened vessels. And I'll find out if I can make you well."

"You'll find Jesus there too. He lives there."

The surgeon left.

The surgeon sat in his office, recording his notes from the surgery, "...damaged aorta, damaged pulmonary vein, widespread muscle degeneration.
No hope for transplant, no hope for cure.
Therapy:painkillers and bed rest.
Prognosis:, "here he paused, "death within one year."

He stopped the recorder, but there was more to be said.

"Why?" he asked aloud. "Why did You do this? You've put
him here; You've put him in this pain; and
You've cursed him to an early death. Why?"

The Lord answered and said, "The boy, My lamb, was not meant for your flock for long, for he is a part of My flock,
and will forever be.
Here, in My flock, he will feel no pain, and will be comforted as you cannot imagine.
His parents will one day join him here, and they will know peace, and My flock will continue to grow."
>
The surgeon's tears were hot, but his anger was hotter.

"You created that boy, and You created that heart.
He'll be dead in months. Why?"

The Lord answered, "The boy, My lamb, shall return to My flock, for He has done his duty: I did not put My lamb
with your flock to lose him, but to retrieve another lost lamb."

The surgeon wept.

The surgeon sat beside the boy's bed; the boy's parents sat across from him. The boy awoke and whispered, "Did you cut
open my heart?"
"Yes," said the surgeon.

"What did you find?" asked the boy.

"I found Jesus there," said the surgeon.


Author Unknown - Celebrate Jesus in 2003 !


If you aren't ashamed to do this, please follow the directions
listed below:

Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father.."

I Am Not Ashamed. Pass this on.

"Yes, I do Love God. He is my source of existence and Savior. He keeps me functioning each and everyday. Without Him, I will be nothing. Without him, I am nothing, but with Him I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me."
(Phil 4:13)