When girls don't...

[mermaid]

Not sure how many have already seen this, but I thought it was pretty funny:

"When girls don't put out!!

This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart.

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.  And I never have
figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.  I have never figured out why men think with their head
and woman with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.  Well, the passon starts to heat up,
and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said "WHAT??!!  What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." 

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day, I opted to take the day off of work and spend time with her.  We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.  I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.  She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.  She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Let's get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.  Let me tell you...she was so excited. 
She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.  I started to
think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. 

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.'  She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.  Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' 

Her face just went completely blank, as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.  You're just not in touch with
my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her."